Michelle CastleMichelle CastleMay 172 min read

Loss is Loss: Giving Yourself Permission to Grieve

Photo of Michelle in a wicker chair smiling at the camera and writing in her journal. She's wearing a floral shirt, glasses, and blue jeans with holes in the knee.
When people hear “loss,” they usually think of death. And yes — losing a loved one is hard.
But loss comes in many forms:
A relationship or friendship ending
A partnership falling apart
A job (or the identity attached to it)
Your health, your confidence, your sense of self
A dream that never happened
Loss is loss. And every loss deserves a grieving process — whether the world recognizes it or not.
What Grief Can Look Like
Grief isn’t just sadness. It can show up as:
Numbness, brain fog, exhaustion
Anger, anxiety, irritability
Appetite or sleep changes
Random waves that hit out of nowhere
Grief isn’t linear. You don’t “move on” in neat stages. You learn how to carry what changed.
The Grieving Process (Simple Version)
Think of grief as 3 parts:
Acknowledge the reality: “This is true now.”
Allow the feelings: without judging them or rushing them.
Adjust and integrate: building a life that includes the loss, not pretending it didn’t matter.
Don’t Stuff It — Move It
When grief gets shoved down, it usually leaks out later as tension, burnout, overworking, numbness, or emotional outbursts. Your body keeps score.
That’s where somatic work helps — because grief isn’t just in your mind. It lives in your nervous system and your body.
Somatic Ways to Process Grief (Quick + Practical)
Try one or two — not all nine.
Name what’s happening in your body: “Tight chest. Heavy throat. Hollow stomach.”
Long exhales: inhale 4, exhale 6–8 (5 rounds).
Hand on heart + belly: “This is hard. I’m here. I don’t have to fix this right now.”
Shake it out: 30–60 seconds of gentle shaking (arms/legs).
Grief walk: walk without distractions and let your body process.
Sound release: sigh, hum, or let yourself cry without apologizing.
Write the unsent letter: to the person, the job, the dream, the old you.
Bottom Line
You don’t need permission to grieve. If it mattered to you, it counts.
And if you’re in a season where grief feels stuck or overwhelming, getting support (a grief therapist or somatic practitioner) isn’t dramatic — it’s wise.
P.S. If this resonated with you, please know you're not alone. Grief has many forms, and healing doesn't happen on a perfect timeline.
I share more grounded, compassionate tools for navigating life, emotions, and personal growth through my . If you'd like continued support and thoughtful conversations like this, I also encourage you to follow the blogs , resources , and memberships Living LIT Facebook
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Nervous System Regulation
Self Compassion
Emotional Wellness
Mental Health
Grief
Emotional Healing
Somatic Healing
Processing Emotions